The Secret according to Astrid

What if you meet the perfect person at the wrong time???

2011-12-13T18:47:00.002-05:00

Fate can be cruel in showing you with amazing clarity that your dreams can become a reality. Just not right now. If ever.

And in accordance with the cliche that the best things always happen when you least expect them, I met the most fascinating guy--only to learn that he is already taken. Yep. So much for mutual attraction, which is pretty useless when the other person is off limits.

The thing is, I believe in karma. Everything you send into the lives of others comes back to you-- tenfold. For that reason I prefer to avoid hurting people as best I can. As far as I am concerned, I have already done enough damage in my life time. So hopefully I can stay clear of any further trouble.

But sometimes the best intentions are almost useless when you feel so drawn to someone that you wonder why in the world everything turns out to be so twisted.

Nevertheless, I could not help but wonder if it was the application of The Secret that made our paths cross in the first place.

In the end, all is not well and it certainly did not end well after enjoying his company for a few hours. I feel bad for being so attracted to a married man who I only just met, even though I most certainly won't pursue him. In fact, I was very clear about not keeping in touch.

My search for an answer has led me to only one conclusion: this handsome, smart and charming man of my dreams must have been a preview of my life's coming attractions (in the famous words of Albert Einstein).

As a result, I expect to meet my true Prince Charming soon. Really soon.

God, I need another miracle please

2011-10-22T14:48:00.002-04:00

Ten years ago my son was diagnosed with Autism. He overcame it after nine years of intensive therapy and countless prayers.
Yesterday my dad was diagnosed with a degenerative disease similar to Parkinson's. Now I find myself in the same incredibly sad but hopeful state again, asking God for another miracle. Of course, I know it won't come easy. But nothing is impossible when you believe.

Hope is a strong foundation of the Bible and The Secret. Without hope we would be nothing-- as race or individuals.

Even before I ever read The Secret I always relied on my favorite quote from the Bible:"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Knowing that I don't have to have all the answers gave me a sense of peace. In a way it also took away my fear. Fear of the unknown future and outcome for my son and now for my dad.

Although my first reaction was a violent stream of tears that continues to push against my freshly built wall of hope, the memory of my previous walk with God on this road helped me calm down. I may not know what to do next, but I do know that "the Lord will guide you always" (Isiah 58:11) once you step out in faith. Faith that everything will be ok and that he will show us the way.

The Secret also teaches us to envision the outcome we desire. So instead of picturing my dad sick and wondering what his life will be like from now on, I choose to think of him as healthy, happy and enjoying retirement with my mom. This tactic helps me focus on the positive which in turn will attract more positive people and events into my life that will ultimately contribute to my dad's well-being. As a result, I continue to walk in faith while I wait for God to show us his limitless power and mercy.

Everything must go...

2011-10-02T19:21:00.002-04:00

In the last couple of years I have been making every effort to eliminate everything and everyone from my life that seems to create negative energy. I was hoping to find inner peace and happiness that way. But I am starting to wonder if I am also creating some kind of vacuum around me that keeps me in limbo--not really part of anything, but at least in a safe zone. Kinda like living in a giant bubble.

The reality of life is that we cannot live in a 100-percent-happiness zone. Or can we???

I guess I am really tired of disappointments. I certainly had more than my fair share of those. And while I am certainly not one to brood about past events or people, the scars remain.

Reading The Secret did help me find a better path to walk on. Yet, I feel like I keep taking detours while wasting more time doing all the wrong things. Sure, I remember the positive quote about happiness being a journey, not a destination. Just why do I feel like I am on the wrong trip sometimes??

Of course, no one has all the answers. Does that mean we should stop looking for them?

The last three years have certainly been a major gateway on my road to self-discovery. I have learned that I can cook, put furniture together, redecorate and prevail against all odds. I have also learned that true friends are always there for you and never stop believing in you even if you can't believe in yourself anymore. (Thank you, G, from the bottom of my heart!!!)

The biggest lesson for me, however, has been about the magical power of faith. Faith in the perseverance of good against evil. Faith that God still hears our prayers. And ultimately, faith in the future and that everything will be ok no matter how trying times can get.

I need to stay focused on the positive possibilities. In that spirit, the elimination process must go on.

"You can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to have felt really messed up."
― Kelly Cutrone

Drained batteries-- how to jump start your soul

2011-06-26T13:17:00.000-04:00

Sometimes life is trying to tell us something in very obvious ways. Like when the battery on my brand new car died yesterday because I left the lights on. Coincidentally, I was completely exhausted on a physical and mental level as well. Which probably led to my oversight in the first place. I realized that it was the perfect metaphor for the state of my personal life.

The car problem was solved easily enough by asking one of my friendly neighbors for a jump start. But what to do about my own batteries. How can I jump start my body, mind and soul?

Getting a good night's sleep was certainly a very necessary first step as I was still incredibly jet-lagged from my exhausting Euro Trip. After 12 hours in slumber-land I did feel better. Yet the feeling that something continues to drain my energy remains. Sure enough, the first text of the day was another negative message from someone I just can't eliminate from my life due to shared responsibilities.

Needless to say, I have been contemplating how to make some much needed changes in my life with the goal of avoiding any negativity and surrounding myself with more positive people. Some of the new friends I made certainly fit in the latter category. I also want to reconnect with old friends who I have not seen in a long time.

At the end of the day, however, I long for tranquility and stillness. That tells me that I need to restore balance in my life. Just like leaving the lights on, constantly being exposed to people and the negative or positive energy they emit leaves me feeling drained. I guess I am not exactly a social butterfly. At least not for long periods of time, and not without some solitude to keep the avalanche of noise from overwhelming me.

Although I have not figured out a solution to my personal energy problems yet, I do believe that striving for balance and being selective about the people I spent time with should put me on the right track.

The Secret also teaches us that life continuously presents us with opportunities-- good and bad ones. Making the right choices is entirely up to us. Albert Einstein firmly believed that every version of reality already exists. In that sense we can create our own future by choosing what we want to happen next in our mind, with our thoughts as transmitter and appropriate actions to follow.

As a result, finding balance in life might be as easy as shifting my focus to the things I love and dream of.

I love making a positive difference in other people's lives.
I love making other people happy.
I love being physically active.
I love writing.
I love learning new things.
I love meeting new people.
I love solitude.
I love traveling to new places.
I love techno music.
I love technology.

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. "
~James Allen

The importance of being earnest--foremost to yourself!

2011-06-23T16:08:00.001-04:00

Most of us are so busy trying to fit in and pleasing people that we start forgetting who we really are. Naturally, we grow restless and unhappy in the process. For many people this manifests itself in a so-called midlife crisis. But the realization that you got off track can hit you much sooner than that. Or even later for that matter.
On my recent Euro-trip I had several revelations about who I really am... which stands in stark contrast to who I was trying to be. Although I truthfully cannot remember at what point in time I started taking a detour, I can nevertheless see the different road signs looking back.

When I first left home after graduating high school I was ready to conquer the world. Being naive did not exactly help me. But somehow my learning curve did improve as time went on. Trial and error were my constant companions that led me to make some bad and even worse decisions. But somehow there were always people that helped me find my way back to my true self as well as to my original destination. Unfortunately, all those people have been in Europe, so I don't get to see them often enough. Yet, each encounter with them triggers a positive transformation in me.

The key to this transformation, though, is not magic. It is truth! My old friends are painfully honest with me -- for my own good. They not only remind me of my old dreams, but also share their own perspective on things that are going on in my life. Sometimes this sword of truth literally cuts off all baggage that seems to be holding me back.

The Secret also teaches us to listen to our own feelings as we go about life and simply follow our bliss while turning away from everything and everyone that makes us feel bad in any way. Of course that requires that we not only pay attention to our feelings, but also that we are honest with ourselves (and others) about how we feel. Feeling bad should never be an acceptable option!!!

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.”
~Pearl Bailey

Restoring your balance sometimes means burning bridges

2011-06-08T21:10:00.001-04:00

Sometimes we meet people who have a huge impact on us. Whether we love them or hate them, we cannot deny that they makes us feel a certain way when we are around them, or even if we only think about them.

The power they hold over us can be positive when they inspire or motivate us. Unfortunately, the opposite can also be quite true-- they can confuse or upset us-- which in turn hurts our productivity.

A little over a month ago I met someone who I really enjoyed talking to. This individual was amazingly like-minded, bright and fun to be around. As time went on I discovered that not everything was as it seemed, though. To make matters worse, this new friend stayed in an apparently abusive situation despite any help I offered. Naturally, this was very upsetting as it is always hard to watch someone you care about go through any kind of hardship, let alone abuse. Eventually, I realized that it is impossible to help someone who does not want to be helped. It also occurred to me that I was not told the entire truth as many things simply did not add up.

Once again, I had to burn a bridge in order to restore the balance in my own life. Keep in mind that any negative energy from other people will always drain you of your positive energy. Even if you only listen to their sad or crazy stories, you will come away feeling depleted.

As much as I value this person, there was nothing I could do to help. Change always begins within a person. And it is always an inside job. You cannot force anyone to be happy or change their circumstances.

The bottom rule should always be how someone makes you feel. Not only when they are with you, but even when they are not with you. If you end up with more minus than plus signs it's definitely time to move on.

I sincerely hope that my friend will find true happiness along the way. And maybe we will meet again one day.

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. "

~Robert Anthony

What you think about you bring about

2011-06-06T20:21:00.003-04:00

I started this year off with an inspiring vision poster. But along the way I tried to hide what I really wanted. Mostly because I have to come to believe that honesty about my feelings often backfires. And that is exactly why I have not gotten what I really want yet.
The Secret teaches us that we truly have to believe that we not only deserve whatever our hearts desire, but more importantly that we need unshakeable faith that it is already ours-- even if only in a parallel universe for now.

There is no half-hearted way to reach your goal. It's an all-or-nothing approach. Interestingly, I got the half-hearted version of some of the stuff on my vision poster. It took me a while to realize that I was creating this version of my future with my lack of faith.

For a while I tried to be grateful anyway since that is a key ingredient to making the Power of Attraction work. By being grateful we basically create a positive mindset that attracts more positive things into our lives and ultimately, results in more happiness and gratitude. But somehow I ended up getting more restless instead.

I now feel like I'm at a cross roads. As I am trying to figure out which path to choose I hope The Secret will guide me into the right direction.

At the center of your being you have the answer;
you know who you are and you know what you want.
Lao Tzu

Deafness is not a disability but rather a different way of being

2011-05-09T12:42:00.000-04:00

Whenever I fill out a job application I get thrown by the last page, where you have to indicate what sex, and race you are and whether or not you have a disability. Since I can't hear I function differently than other people with normal hearing. But I do believe that I can perform just about every task a hearing person can perform, sometimes with a few adjustments. Hence, marking "disability" seems wrong.

Since I was born hearing I do understand that the loss of my ability to hear is now considered a dis-ability. If you wanna be a stickler for words, you could say that based on the Latin prefix "dis-" meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away,” “utterly,” or having a negative, or reversing force, all people who lose their hearing can be considered to have a disability. But that hardly applies to people who are born deaf since they don't lose anything.

Regardless of how and when anyone becomes deaf, I still have to disagree with the term "disability." It may be hard for someone on the other side of the fence to grasp, but deaf people can and do lead completely normal lives.

For example, I admit that I won't be the best customer service rep on the phone, but I can do a terrific job in chat or even via email. And last Friday, I went out with people from the Deaf Tampa Bay group and had the best time.

I guess it's all about acknowledging and accepting the differences in people. Some of us are short, others tall. Some are great at math, others are better writers. And so on.

We all bring something different to the table and could enrich each other's lives greatly without the restrictions of labels.

As far as The Secret is concerned, I think it's safe to say that deaf people know all about the lesson on gratitude. Being thankful for what we do have in skills and abilities opens the doors to limitless opportunities. It's all about loving life and making the most of whatever you are given.

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."

— Helen Keller

Take mom out for Free on Mother's Day

2011-05-08T10:04:00.000-04:00

My son, the genius, gave me a self-made card for Mother's Day offering me choices for free Brunch, Lunch and Dinner. He is such a smart little fella.
So, we checked any other special offers in the Tampa area online and found a few that he calls B.S. choices due to the ridiculous price, and a few cool free ones.
Here are our top 3:
1) McDonald's: free breakfast for moms on Mother's Day
2) Sonny's BBQ: free lunch for moms on Mother's Day
3) Charlie's Steakhouse: free 10-ounce steak for mom on Mother's Day from 4-10 p.m.

So you can take mom out for free three times today!! :-)

Click here for other Mother's Days events in Tampa Bay!

How I learned to appreciate the strange comfort of absolute silence

2011-05-06T00:09:00.004-04:00

It has taken me almost eleven years to truly come to terms with the silence I suddenly faced after giving birth to my son.

In one of life's tragic twists of fate I lost most of my hearing when I had some kind of allergic reaction to the labor-inducing drug I was given because my water broke five weeks before the scheduled due date.

As a result, I never heard my son's first cry when he was born, or any months after that. Strangely enough, I was always able to feel how my son felt thanks to some kind of heightened mother instinct.
While I would have gladly given my life to save his, it was not easy to accept my new fate in a completely silent world.

Throughout the years I have struggled with finding my place in the world I used to know, while never really fitting in anymore.

Among hearing people I can't participate in any conversations unless there is no background noise. And among deaf people I can't communicate because I don't know sign language well enough.
Caught in some kind of communication limbo I tried to make the best of my situation with the tools I was given. My hearing aids have been helping me a great deal, but they will never replace normal hearing.

At the eve of my son's eleventh birthday I suddenly realized that the silence does not bother me anymore. In fact, there are times when I prefer it.
That does not mean that I would not be happy about regaining my hearing if that was possible. Rather, it means that I have found a way to actually enjoy the peace and quiet as a welcome change to the ever-present info overload.

I started teaching my son what little sign language I do know and always enjoyed our funny exchanges when I was not wearing my hearing aids. Expressing yourself in sign language is quite powerful because you truly use your entire face and body rather than just empty words. There is a sense of honesty and intensity that is difficult to convey with words alone. I came to realize that I feel very comfortable communicating via sign language and now want to learn it fluently.

Naturally, I am well aware that most people will be shocked to learn about my hearing loss since I made a point to hide it by acting as normal as possible. Maybe I was ashamed, or worried about being discriminated against. But at this point in my life -- it is what it is and I am who I am.

A pastor I spoke with several years ago told me that God never gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes the bad events help us become a better person by giving us a new perspective and understanding that can yield more compassion for others. I do hope that my experiences have influenced me positively and that I somehow find a way to help others now.

The Secret teaches us that we can heal ourselves by thinking of our bodies as being healthy. Indeed, perception is everything.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”
~Dale Carnegie

Am I narcissistic?

2011-03-31T21:52:00.001-04:00

Today I came to realize that I have turned my back on a lot of people that used to be in my life. Most of those former friends and aquaintances disappointed me at some point. Eliminating them from my contact list just seemed to be the best option. After all, no one wants to get burned twice, right.
Then I heard Dr. Drew on HLN talk about how narcissistic our society has become and that we need human connections and relationships in order to be happy.
Naturally, that confused me since The Secret teaches us that we are responsible for our own happiness. But maybe not at the exclusion of happiness gained by being around other people.

Also, the term narcissism kinda stung. When I think of narcissistic individuals I envision people who are so in love with themselves that they cannot stop looking into the mirror. The psychological definition reads like this:

"Erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development."

Now that is definitely NOT me. But when I looked at the synonyms, such as self-centeredness, smugness, and egocentrism, I experienced the proverbial 'aha' moment.

Although I never thought of describing myself with any of those words I have to admit that someone standing on the other side of the fence could perceive me as such. Given that I value my time very much, I often blow off people who simply want to chat or hang out. But in my defense I have to be productive on a daily basis as freelance journalist.

Ultimately, I might have misunderstood the true meaning of creating your own happiness as The Secret does stress the importance of feeling love for everything and everyone.

Whatever future you want to create for yourself-- make sure to include love. And people.

Behold the magical power of a kiss

2011-03-22T17:02:00.002-04:00

Today's news featured a kiss on the show Glee as the newest scandal in TV land. It got me thinking about how much power and magic a kiss holds. Apparently, it affects people who watch two people kiss almost as much as the actual kissers.

Although the Glee kiss triggered a discussion about gay teenagers, my thoughts went into a completely different direction.

I usually cringe when people say: "It was just a kiss." Like a kiss is completely meaningless.

How many of us still remember their first kiss? Mine was wet and strange, but at the age of 14 I honestly did not know any better. Kissing my first love three years later, on the other hand, now that was quite different. When his lips touched mine it felt like the earth stood still. I forgot completely where I was and never wanted this kiss to end. In one word: magical.

Of course, not all kisses are magical and that is the point I want to make here. The Secret teaches us to use our feelings as guide. If something does not feel good (including a kiss), walk away. There is no way the rest of the relationship will turn out great if the first kiss stinks, or anything else does not feel right. True story.

Unfortunately, we can't control how a kiss feels. So even if we like the person on all other levels, any kind of chemistry goes down the drain when the kiss is awful.

On the other side of the spectrum, it is possible to have a great first kiss and never hear from that person again. But hey, keep in mind that we don't know how he or she felt about that kiss. Maybe it wasn't all that great for them. Regardless, there is no point in chasing them down. Either the shoe fits or it doesn't.

“Kiss me and you will see how important I am.”

~Sylvia Plath

Road rage becomes me...

2011-03-07T10:05:00.001-05:00

This morning I experienced the contagious nature of road rage first hand when another driver would not let me move into his lane although mine was merging with his. He even went on to honk up a storm while racing me to the point where my lane stopped. I could not believe what a complete a**hole he was.

It's not like it would have killed him to let me get in front of him.

Unfortunately, I could feel the anger building up inside me like a bad case of acid reflux. In fact, I started visualizing pulling him out of his car and choking him unconscious. All that in a matter of seconds.

When I realized that this obviously unhappy person had managed to infect me with his road rage, I immediately recalled the advice The Secret gives in response to negative events and emotions. The more you give in to negative emotions the worse your day is going to get.

Anger is like a cancer. It grabs hold of every cell in your body and consumes it until there is nothing else left. It spreads like a wildfire--if you let it.

Needless to say, I don't wanna be an angry person and I certainly don't want to have a bad day just because some miserable dude had to have a pissing contest on the road.

I got out of my car and chose happiness which instantly made me feel better. All is well that ends well, huh? But I do have to admit that I wished the dude would end up getting a ticket or hitting a tree. That however, is bad medicine, too, since all we send into the lives of others comes back to us tenfold, according to The Secret and the Bible.

Now I just hope the universe lets me retract that wish and forget the whole thing ever happened.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

~Catherine Ponder

Does your job bring out the worst in you?

2011-03-05T01:09:00.001-05:00

I recently had a job that I really liked at first. But as time went on, I felt like I was being sucked into this vacuum of negativity. Why? Because I had to correct and grade other people's work. If you think that can't be so bad, think again. Negativity is like a boomerang--it always finds its way back to you.

As a matter of fact, I was let go today due to company reconstruction. How is that for karma?

The Secret teaches us to always focus on stuff we love and on our happiness. It also reminds us to never ever blame or criticize others. Yet, that was exactly what I had to do all day long. Believe it or not, but I was starting to feel like an angry, old lady and not like myself at all. Even after work I kept on bitching about stuff that annoyed me. It was like negativity had blackened my soul and turned me into a super bitch 24/7. I kid you not.

The funny thing is that I realized it only today. Imagine I had stayed at that company any longer. There might be no hope left for me to ever be a decent and kind human being again.

As usual, it's an unwelcome event that helps me understand the teachings of The Secret so much better as it validates the most important lesson: everything you send into the lives of others comes back to you ten-fold.

Needless to say, I have decided to focus my professional career on journalism again. It's what I love to do and the only thing that truly feels right to me. And I am a much better person for it.

On every thorn, delightful wisdom grows,
In every rill a sweet instruction flows.
Edward Young

The thing about living in the past

2011-02-14T08:44:00.000-05:00

As much as I agree that we can learn from the past, including from our own mistakes of course, I really hate it when people live in the past.

Most of the time they hold on so tight to things and people that caused them pain, they are completely oblivious to the good thing right in front of them NOW.

Sadly, the result is always a negative outcome in the present once again. Why? Because the good thing/person ends up walking away.

I often wonder why people do this to themselves. It's not like we should erase our memories. But why would anyone want to re-live the pain?

Granted, it always takes a while to digest something bad that has happened. But talking about it for the rest of your natural life, or even just thinking about it won't help you get over it. Just the opposite. The more you share this stuff with other people the less likely you are to actually put it behind you.

On another note, I can assure you that no one enjoys hearing about all your exes. Especially not if they have any kind of romantic interest in you. It's like saying:"Sorry, I'm still hung up on this person and not truly ready for something new."

Sharing it once to help people understand you better may be acceptable. But any additional talk about the very same thing.... well, you get the picture. I hope.

Aside from pushing away any new friends or love interests, you are not doing yourself a favor either since you are really not getting any closer to your dreams and desires that way.

The Secret talks about envisioning the future you want, not the outcome you don't want. At this point it should be clear that re-living the past not only makes you feel bad all over again, it also makes the other person feel bad AND it will get you the exact same result all over again.

Deja vu, anyone? Guess what-- it's of your own making. Yes, indeed.

So, instead of asking yourself why you keep meeting the wrong people who end up walking away from you, take a good, hard look in the mirror. And decide to once and for all close the book of your past.

Take some general rules from your experiences, if you must. But the truth is, there are no rules to ensure you a certain outcome, EVER. No matter how bad we want to protect ourselves from future hurt and disappointment, it will always happen again as long as you stay focused on that.

Besides, the only thing you can control is how you react to it. Needless to say, you have to let go of any negative emotions and focus on all the good things in your life, and everything you want in the future.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

~Alexander Graham Bell

Revolutionary Road-- or the art of being happy

2011-02-13T21:10:00.000-05:00

If you have seen the movie Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio you might wonder why those two never get a happy ending. Just like in the flick Titanic they fall madly in love with each other -- only this time Kate ends up being the one that dies. By choice that is. Yes, she kills herself.
As odd as that may seem, my take on this flick is that some people just have not mastered the art of being happy.

No matter what life throws at you, happiness is always a choice.

What makes the turn of events in this movie even worse is that this suburban couple has absolutely no problems. So they create them. I guess out of boredom.

I get that her failure as an actress (in the actual movie) pushed her into some kind of depression and possibly onto a path of attempted self-discovery. Yet, I just don't understand why she can't find a way to be grateful for her absolutely worry-free life.

At the end of the day, we all want things we don't have yet. But that is no reason not to be happy right now. As a matter of fact, being happy and grateful now is the only way to get what you want in the future, according to The Secret. And I can wholeheartedly attest to that.

Feeling sorry for yourself never makes anyone feel better now, does it?! Or being angry, hurt, disappointed, etc.

Sure, there will also be negative things and people impacting our days and lives. But why would you give them the power to ruin your day???

Even more importantly, as long as you are unhappy, sad, depressed, or anything along those lines you will only get more of the same. In other words: not only will you stay unhappy, but before you know it you will spiral down into a pitch black hole of nothingness because your unhappiness will continue to grow by attracting more negative events into your life.

The only way to put a stop to it is to simply make the conscious decision to be happy. Don't feed the negative stuff. Focus on the good things in your life and the great stuff you want to happen in your future.

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have  the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it  shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just  one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in."

- Groucho Marx  

There is always tomorrow...

2011-02-12T18:40:00.004-05:00

I really have nothing to complain about. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
After getting run over in January things finally seemed to fall into place when I landed my dream job at the end of the month and started working there February 1. Almost simultaneously, I met someone new who also seemed to be like a dream come true. I felt incredibly blessed. But as it turned out, this person was not right for me after all.
C'est la vie.
Nevertheless, I want to believe that the right person for me is out there. Somewhere.
Until God brings him into my life I will continue to be grateful for everything else he has blessed me with.
But I honestly have no interest in dating anymore. It seems like a giant waste of time that always ends in disappointment. Of course, I realize that I will continue to get the same results as long as I have this attitude since The Secret teaches us that our thoughts shape our reality, and future.
The version of reality I want is true love. Something deep, passionate and lasting. And most importantly, something mutual.
I am truly happy for all the couples I know who have found this and I hope that the guys I met will find the right person who they can fall for and be happy with.
Because that's exactly what I want: to fall in love and not ever have to wonder how he feels. I want to just know his heart with every fiber of my being.
Is it possible? I know it is.

My vision board for 2011

2010-12-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

Live and learn, and learn again

2010-12-20T05:46:00.003-05:00

As I watch the snowflakes fall in beautiful synchrony I ponder the lessons of the last year, in particular this past week.
Although I have been trying to learn from my mistakes it seems like I always end up back at square one-- disappointed and crushed by the realization that being true to my feelings never seems to work out for me when it comes to people.
But at least I am following The Secret by listening to my heart and choosing the path of happiness rather than being miserable. After all I cannot control what happens to me but I can always choose my own reaction. This reaction has led me away from people who stir up negative emotions in me. Emotions of sadness and hurt.
Granted, life consists of more than just happy moments. But why in the world would I want to contribute to the unhappy ones willingly???
Then I wonder where I went wrong. And while my list of mistakes keeps getting longer it suddenly hits me like a shovel: with the right person you can do everything wrong and things will still be ok. On the other side of the coin, with the wrong person you can do everything right and things will not work out regardless.
There is no playbook or rule book or any kind of guide that will ensure a positive outcome. Ever.
When things don't work out, the only healthy thing to do is simply move on.
And don't ever let anyone take you and your feelings hostage with promises of future rewards. If it can't happen now, chances are it will never happen. Besides, all you really have is the present and there is absolutely no reason why you should spend it being miserable.

Everyone deserves to be happy--every minute of every day!

So instead of letting my heart be weighed down by regrets I choose to let go. I let go of the past. I let go of mistakes. And I let go of him. After all I at least tried and nothing worthwhile was ever gained without any effort.

Yes, I let the snow cover it all and wait for a new future while I cherish my sense of peace and tranquility in the present.

Insatiable--for passion, love, and life

2010-10-22T10:43:00.001-04:00

If you listen to the song in this video you can really feel the passion.
It is this kind of passion that I want and need in my life-- in all areas. Work, love, friendship. Not necessarily in that order, even though my life has been all work and virtually no play in the last ten years.
But I am the kind of person who gives 100 percent at everything I do. Some might think I am a perfectionist. Nothing is further from the truth.
I am actually just trying to do the best I can. But I refuse to do anything without being passionate about it. Why be miserable your whole life?
Been there, done that. As a result I promised myself to never ever settle for less again.
Remember the famous question, "for love or for money?"
For me it will always be LOVE. I want to love my job. I want to be crazy about the person I'm dating. And ultimately I want to be at peace with the decisions I make.
Everyone is looking for different things. I guess the most important thing for anyone is figuring out what they want for themselves before they have someone else force them into a role they really don't want to play.
At this point in my life I do believe that we can have what we want. But only if we don't settle for less. Because that just puts us on the wrong track. And you can hardly arrive at your destination if you keep jumping on the wrong train.
I know what I want. And The Secret tells me I can have it. All I have to do is envision it and believe in it. So...it's bound to happen any minute now. :-)

Good stuff always happens when you least expect it--or doesn't it?

2010-10-02T11:31:00.002-04:00

This techno song perfectly expresses my mood today as I contemplate the funny twists of fate. Why does good stuff always happen when you least expect it???
As long as I can think back this seems to have been a constant in my life. And I was never really able to figure out just why this rule seems to govern all positive events. But then again, maybe it was not all that unexpected. If you apply The Secret to this apparently odd occurrence you might be able to see how we actually make things happen--simply by wanting them to happen. And then they eventually do happen.
But the important ingredient is faith. You have to believe that it will happen. In fact you should daydream of the reality you want rather than focusing on everything that's wrong with your life, or other people for that matter.

Some things may take so long that you start forgetting about them. Then one day your wish, or part of it, is right in front of you. This is when you have to grab the bull by its horns so to speak. Who knows how many other opportunities you missed before and that's why it has taken so long to get closer to your goal or dream.

But then again, some people are too complacent or afraid to act on something even if everything inside them screams with excitement and joy.

I am sure I have missed some opportunities in my life for various reasons. On the other side of the coin I am very happy to say that I have gotten better at recognizing a good thing when it is right in front of me now and act on it. All the while I have been feeling like I am on top of the world. And according to the Secret that's exactly how it's supposed to be.

"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness."
~ George Santayana

How often do you take extraordinary measures?

2010-09-12T19:43:00.003-04:00

Once again I feel genuinely inspired by a movie to ponder the general meaning of life as we know it. In this case it was the flick Extraordinary Measures with Harrison Ford and Brendan Frasier that prompted my evaluation of societal standards.

If you don't know what the story line is, here is a super-brief recap: Brendan Frasier is a pharmaceutical executive who has two dying kids with Pompe syndrome, a rare genetic disorder that prevents their bodies from producing any kind of enzymes which ultimately results in muscle and organ failure. Ford is an eccentric but brilliant scientist who has devoted his life to research--in particular a cure for pompe patients.

Although this story, which is in fact a true story, brought tears to my eyes, I am in no way trying to have the same effect on you with my blog. Instead, I would like to to invite you--the reader-- to think outside the box--even if only for a brief moment.

Taking your thinking to the next level without following any standards or rules that we have been taught might be challenging at first. But at the end of the day, you might surprise yourself with some kind of breakthrough. For yourself, your family or maybe even for society at large. You never know who might actually benefit from a new approach to an existing problem.

In my case I have to admit that NOT following the usual rules resulted in a really great weekend for me. And yes, it did surprise me to some extent. But on the other hand, I suspected that the outcome might be refreshingly positive.

The truth is that we often act and think like fish in an aquarium. We don't dare break through the established etiquette or expectations fearing any kind of punishment. But then again--is that what we really fear, or are we just too lazy to think for ourselves???

While I am not suggesting that following rules is wrong, I do believe that applying a healthy does of skepticism or desire to achieve NEW RESULTS cannot be a bad thing. One size does NOT fit all, after all.

Going back to the movie, Frasier and Ford end up producing the miracle cure after many challenges and up-hill struggles AND breaking many rules. Evidently, sometimes existing rules can really hinder any kind of progress.

The infamous German scientist, Albert Einstein, recognized this a long time ago when he stated:
"The significant problems of our time cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them."

Although we may not have created diseases, it certainly does not help to be so focused on the status quo that we cannot envision a better future. And envisioning a better future is what The Secret is all about.

It's all about stress

2010-09-10T13:40:00.002-04:00

Stress seems to be part of our modern life style. But that does not mean it is supposed to be. In fact, The Secret teaches us that we are supposed to 'feel good all the time.' And let's be honest for a second--stress certainly does NOT feel good.
So instead of effective stress management the best policy is to avoid stress altogether. Unfortunately, that's often easier said than done. Especially during tough economic times like these stress seems to be a given and no one would dare to walk away from a job that pays the bills, no matter how much stress it causes on a daily basis.
Once again, I have to point out, that if you truly believe in The Secret and apply it, walking away from a stressful job is exactly what you should be doing. Not only will it save your health but you will end up being able to focus on what you want instead of what you don't want (stress!!!) and therefore, create a much better future.

As fate would have it, this is a lesson I recently learned after spending an extremely stressful month on projects that I was supposed to get paid for. While I kept wondering if the pay would be worth the time investment and the stress it turned out that it was not. The check I received ended up bouncing and to add insult to injury my bank charged me a returned check fee. On the bright side this company at least pretended to pay me unlike Nokaut.com who still owes me $500 for my work.

It may seem odd that this stuff keeps happening to me. One explanation would be the fact that as long as I think about the bad stuff that has happened to me I keep attracting more of the same, according to the Secret. In common sense terms, I would have to go with the 'risk of doing business' since there always seem to be enough people out there who try to take advantage of others.

So just when I thought that I would be getting ahead this month as far as earnings go I end up finding out that all my hard work actually resulted in a financial setback. As a freelance journalist that is a tough pill to swallow since I could have spent my time on activities that would have in fact produced an income, like writing for any of my existing columns.

Maybe something like this had to happen to make me realize that I don't really need to look for any additional money-making opportunities, but that I should rather focus on doing more with what I already have (which brings to mind the lesson about gratitude in The Secret!).

Sometimes we just can't see the forest for the trees. And the morale of the story is that writing for my columns is something I enjoy-- stress-free -- while making a decent, steadily increasing income.

The aftermath of Friday the 13th

2010-08-15T10:37:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, but I was actually born on a Friday the 13th and have as a result always considered myself to be lucky in spite of the popular bad-luck connotation the date has. Nevertheless, I have been a magnet for bad luck. Self-fulfilling prophecy? The Secret at work? Pure stupidity?

My latest adventure took place only two days ago--on Friday the 13th. And to be perfectly honest, I had no idea it was the 13th although I was aware that it was Friday. For starters, I lost the remote to my car. Then my back window got smashed in which will cost me $300 to fix. You would think it cannot get much worse. But it can, and it sure did.

Without wasting your time with all the sordid details, let's just sum it up as 'a series of unfortunate events' which were most likely the result of my personal ill decisions. And yet, I was still in the dark about the date until someone pointed it out. Being confronted with it I began to wonder...did I create this mess with my thoughts or is there indeed such a thing as bad luck. Maybe I am cursed even. Or I might be chased by bad karma for all the sins I have committed throughout my life time. My twin brother still insists that I stole his food while we were growing in our mother's womb. You would think he can't possibly remember that but the evidence was on his side as I came out twice his size-- on Friday the 13th. And so it all began.

Naturally, it is not easy to stay positive when life throws you one curve ball after another. Yet I want to believe that even the bad stuff serves a good purpose. Which ever that might be.
As much as I try to learn from my mistakes I also want to avoid living in the past and beating myself up for every wrong turn I took. Because the more I think about my mis-fortunes and mistakes the more I create a future with plenty more of those according to The Secret.

As I woke up this morning, I searched my mind for some lucky facts to balance out all the bad luck I have been attracting. All it took was for my son to wrap his arms around me and say:"I love you, Mom." My beautiful baby boy reminds me every moment of every day that I am indeed the luckiest person on the planet for being blessed with a healthy, happy and wonderful son.

The Secret teaches us that love is the most powerful force and emotion. The feeling of love attracts only good things. Paired with gratitude it creates a shield around us that functions as turbo engine for a great future.

But hey, no one ever said life was going to be easy. And without the rain we would never appreciate the sunshine.

Do you really bring about what you think about?

2010-05-12T11:41:00.001-04:00

The other day I was watching the movie A Lot Like Love and wondered if any of the people I had met earlier in my life ever had the same kind of effect on me as the main character, Ashton Kutcher, had on the girl.
Apparently, she liked him and he liked her, but for some reason their lives always took them away from each other until they finally realize-- many years later-- that they love each other. And yes, there is a happy ending.

In my younger years I made many mistakes and eventually learned from them. At least I hope I did. But aside from the mistakes, I can honestly say that I wish I had met some people under different circumstances. Similar to the story line in the movie, I was basically trying to find my way and follow my own path, no matter where it took me. Needless to say, watching the movie brought back a lot of memories, the good ones and the bad ones.

Although I try not to live in the past I have to admit that I do have some regrets. But those are for another story.

As fate would have it, there was one person that popped into my head as I was reminiscing. And even long after I stopped thinking about the movie (and my past) this person's name kept going off in my head like a car alarm. At first I shrugged it off and tried to ignore it. But when I got a friend request on facebook from someone with the same last name I decided to just see if my old aquaintance had an account there, too.

To my surprise I did find him (I guess everyone is on facebook now) and sent him a message although I was not even sure if he remembered me. When he wrote me back I was totally psyched and I hope we will be able to catch up in person some day.

I suddenly realized that my thoughts about old times might have brought him back into my life. How often do you think about someone that you have not talked to or seen in a long time and suddenly you get a message from him or maybe even run into him?

I am now more determined than ever to focus my thoughts on positive things and the future I want so that I can create the life I desire. There is no doubt in my mind anymore that we indeed bring about what we think about, just like The Secret teaches us.

The true meaning of Mother's Day

2010-05-09T14:11:00.008-04:00

This is the very first Mother's Day since the birth of my beautiful son in 2000 that I am not able to spend with him. His father took him on a mini-vacation with his new girlfriend. At first I was very upset about the timing. But then I thought about the true meaning of Mother's Day.

Being a mother gives a woman true purpose in life. The birth of my son was the best day of my life in spite of the physical pain and permanent side effects. When I held him in my arms for the first time I finally knew what it means to love another human being unconditionally. It is this love for my child that has made me a better and stronger person.

On Mother's Day I celebrate my son who is my biggest inspiration and source of happiness. He has taught me that anything is possible if you apply your mind, heart and soul to it.

My son has mastered The Secret at a very young age. His accomplishments are astounding and confirm every lesson taught by the teachers of The Secret. After being diagnosed with autism at the tender age of two my son willed himself to overcome this developmental disorder. It did not happen over night and it sure was not easy. But he did it--all by himself. At the age of nine all test results confirmed that he had indeed made it out of the autistic spectrum.

If you meet my son today you would never guess what he has been through and how far he has come.

To some people this might seem like a miracle. And it is. But I also know now, that The Secret had a lot do with it as I firmly believed that my son would accomplish this feat. One of the stories that helped me envision this kind of future for him was There's a Boy in Here which described the journey of the autistic boy, Sean Barron, who overcame his autism by sheer will power. Throughout the years Sean was my light at the end of the tunnel even when my son was not making any noticeable progress yet and I shared his amazing story with my son often.

The Secret teaches us that we can create our own future. My son has done just that and then some. On this Mother's Day I celebrate him and the normal, happy life he now enjoys.

Faith vs. Science--what makes The Secret work?

2010-05-08T13:22:00.002-04:00

If you have trouble getting a grasp for The Secret
and have an easier time digesting scientific formulas and concepts you should read The Science Behind The Secret: Decoding the Law of Attraction.

While most of us are familiar with religious concepts of faith and praying it may seem difficult at times to put in the effort to 'keep the faith.'

Science, on the other hand, makes more sense since we can actually see it at work in modern technology 24/7.

John Edward does a great job explaining the concept of The Secret in terms that pretty much anyone can understand and believe.

If you think of your brain as a super-computer that can run certain algorithms and produce the desired outcome for whatever task you assign you have just come one step closer to understanding The Secret. And understanding it will certainly help you utilize it consistently and efficiently.

If you wonder why I decided to read Edward's scientific explanation of The Secret I can assure you that my intentions were quite honorable. I just wanted to be able to explain it in scientific terms to people who generally don't latch on to any notions of faith or positive thinking.

On the other side of the coin, I wanted to find out if the scientific explanation produced any kind of conflict with the faith-based version. Naturally, I was happy to see that both concepts actually support each other by giving the skeptics something they can 'see' without discrediting any religious faith.

All things considered, knowing and applying The Secret works no matter if you prefer to draw charts or pray.

Taking new chances

2010-01-28T18:56:00.004-05:00

Recently I have been contemplating how much I have changed in the last ten years. And even more importantly, I was analyzing WHY I had changed so much.

The old me was very outgoing, energetic, fun-loving, etc...but somewhere along the way I had been crushed by all the things life threw at me.

My son's autism was a huge struggle for eight long years. Then something miraculous happened: I left his father, got divorced and all of a sudden my little boy started doing significantly better. So much for a peaceful and loving home environment. It matters!! And kids never ever benefit from parents who don't get along or even hate each other. Of course, it could have gone the other way. But fortunately, my gut feeling was right. All is well that ends well, right?!

As far as my personal life goes--well, there really is none. Making it through graduate school was hard enough without any added stress from a relationship. Now that I have graduated I wonder if I should get back in the game. I checked out all the online dating sites per my ex-husband's recommendation since it has worked wonders for him.
But somehow the whole process turns me off. I would find it much more fun and exciting to meet people by chance. But realistically, what are the chances of running into my soul mate in my living room??? Yeah, exactly, a big, fat ZERO!!

I thought about using The Secret (Extended Edition)
here. The only problem is, I don't really know what I do want. If only it worked the other way around, because I have no problem telling you what I DON'T want.

In all honesty, I have tried the online dating machine once before and as a result met a guy who I thought would have been perfect for me. But somehow everything went wrong or maybe he was not right for me in the first place. Who knows.

My other problem is that I feel strangely aloof. Almost like my heart is sitting in the freezer and all emotions are on ice.
Now, what does it take to de-frost a heart?????? And do I really want to feel anything again????

The only way is UP!

2009-12-20T19:21:00.004-05:00

It's almost Christmas. I has been a while since I wrote a blog entry here. There was a lot to digest.
Plenty of good news:

I graduated with a Masters of Arts in Multimedia Journalism from USF
I got promoted from Tampa Martial Arts Examiner to National Martial Arts Examiner
My parents came to visit me and attended my commencement

Spending time with my parents always helps me tune in to the real me. Not that I am not myself the rest of the year. I just tend to focus so much on everything else that is going on that I sometimes forget to listen to my inner voice.

Making it through graduate school was tough. But I will never regret doing it. Along with the interesting research I also learned a lot about myself. I would even dare to say that I grew quite a bit as a person during these last 2.5 years. Most of all I learned that challenges are always stepping stones. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you cannot do something.

There were plenty of people and things discouraging me along the way. But when it came down to it, I never once gave up, turned back or avoided a challenge. And today I am incredibly grateful for every single thing that made me dig deep inside myself to discover my true capabilities.

I am now more than ready to take on the world. Of course there will still be problems. That's just life. But I am ready. And excited. The only way is UP!!!

Nightmare on my street

2009-11-17T14:04:00.006-05:00

Have you ever had the strange feeling that something was utterly wrong? You can call it intuition or some kind of weak premonition. Maybe we should agree to call it stupidity. At least that applies in my case.
When nothing makes sense, don't let anyone fool you. One plus one is still two.
PLEASE trust your mind and gut. Bad feelings don't mean you are psycho. Not listening to your bad feeligs, however, does mean you are naive or even stupid.
Yes, I am speaking from experience. I finally had the pleasure yesterday to find out that my intuition had been right all along. But someone managed to pull the wool over my eyes. Imagine how stupid I felt.
Then I started wondering if I invited this Jerry-Springer-like situation into my life based on my own thoughts. Because The Secret teaches us that we can create our own future with the power of our thoughts. Funny thing is, I never imagined this kind of drama would happen to me.
Initially, I actually felt sick to the stomach. And STUPID. Then I started to worry about the potential side-effects from this so-called experience.
All I can say is, the episodes on Jerry Springer are not scripted. That stuff does happen in real life. And I have no intention to ever see or hear anything remotely related to it again.
This is my official notice that I prefer to live like Hemingway. In the woods, alone, away from BAD people.
What has this world come to??? Is there not a decent soul left anymore????
The irony of it is, I gave this person who utterly betrayed and used me the book The Secret, fully believing in the goodness and potential...

A November to remember

2009-11-11T19:32:00.003-05:00

At least that's what I keep telling myself. This is the month everything will magically fall into place. I will land a full-time job with benefits, ...not in this economy.
Freelancing has been fun and exciting. But you never know how much you gonna make each month. For a single mom that is not exactly the perfect solution. I need the peace of mind to know that I will be able to provide for my son--home, food, shelter.
But, yes, I wholeheartedly love what I do. Passion is not my problem. Or is it? Maybe I should look for a job that simply pays the bills instead of taking assignments that really don't pay the bills at the end of the day. Is there a compromise between passion and necessity?
I have been wrecking my brain in search for the ever-elusive answer to this question. Then I watched this movie last night, Knocked Up. Two drunk people have a lousy one-night stand, end up pregnant, ...the happy ending is that the dude gets a job he hates. But hey, he makes lots of dough so he can support his girlfriend and baby. Is money really everything????
NO. It isn't. But having no money leaves you homeless and option-less.
My parents keep telling me to follow my path. They believe in me. In fact, they believe in me so much that they would give and do anything to help me.
But I don't want any help. I want to able to do this on my own. Remember when you bought your first car with your own money??? Quite some feeling, huh?! No one can ever take that away from you. It's priceless. The feeling I mean. The car can be sold, repossed, or whatever.
The one thing my parents worry about is that I might head into the wrong direction in search for a big pay check, or any steady paycheck for that matter. They have seen me doing all the wrong things already. Now they just want me to be happy.
So, the lesson from the secret is "expect great things and great things will happen," right???????????????????

My beautiful baby boy

2009-11-03T01:18:00.001-05:00

Attachment issues or Ice Queen?

2009-10-31T23:06:00.003-04:00

Some days I wonder why I have such a hard time getting close to people. Whenever the distance starts dissolving I do the craziest stuff to make anyone run into the opposite direction. This has been a life-long issue for me.
When I read The Secret in December 2008 it helped me understand why I was acting in certain ways some times. Yet, I was not able to figure out why I keep pushing people away from me. Almost a year later I am still struggling with my attachment issues.
I'ts not that I don't care about people. Compassion is in fact one of my strongest emotions. But I guess the direction is what matters here. The outgoing feelings are not the problem. Maybe the incoming feelings are, though.
A lot of people wonder how come I left my family at the tender age of 18 and moved to another continent without knowing anyone at my new location in Ohio. I never thought it was a big deal. Not because my family does not mean anything to me. But at the time, I really thought I did not mean anything to my family.
Many years later I came to realize that I was wrong. Yet, I find myself unable to change my emotional responses to anyone who gets close to me to the present day.
The Secret teaches us that we can create our own future with the power of our thoughts. What in the world am I thinking about???? What keeps me from forming meaningful relationships with other people?????
Most days I envision myself living alone in the woods like Earnest Hemingway in the later years of his life. If you know his story, you should be keenly aware that it was a major devastating event that pushed him into isolation.
My life is full of major events, some more devastating than others. I could name at least five of major significance starting as early as my pre-school years. Why in the world do I still remember that stuff with odd clarity?? But in order of importance these issues would slide down to the bottom of the list.
Regardless, life is what we make of it and I do not want to live in the past anymore. My future is now.

Coming full circle

2009-10-26T18:28:00.003-04:00

Life is full of surprises. The good ones and the bad ones. And sometimes the bad ones can eventually turn into good ones--if you let them that is.
What I am getting at is forgiveness. Forgiving someone who hurt you sets you free. They don't call it 'forgive and forget' for nothing. Holding a grudge only holds you prisoner in the past. Do you really want to live there???
Besides, we have all made mistakes. No one is perfect. In that sense karma can indeed be a bitch, because all the things you sent into the lives of others eventually find their way back into yours like a boomerang. Only when it comes back it brings its whole army of fate. Meaning that your mistakes have a nasty habit of being compounded and hitting you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it.
Nevertheless, The Secret teaches us not to dwell on our own mistakes or the mistakes of others. If you can't help yourself but think about the dark past you are only painting your future pitch black. Because we bring about what we think about. Before you know it you will be wondering why the bad luck streak just won't stop.
For starters, stop thinking about it and it will. Imagine all the great things your future holds instead, including your hopes and dreams.
Sometimes the ghosts from our past catch up with us, whether we like it or not. When they knock on your door like an unwanted surprise guest, deal with them rather than hiding behind a closed door. It may be painful at first, but you will feel an incredible sense of relief when it's over. You will also feel like you have finally come full circle, that your life has brought this particular lesson to a close. Closure is healing. And healing makes you stronger and gives you more energy to focus on your wonderful, happy future.

In vino veritas

2009-10-13T15:51:00.003-04:00

After six years of Latin in high school this is one of the phrases I do remember. In wine there is truth. But what does it really mean? Does alcohol work like a truth serum, forcing people to bare their souls? Or does it simply help us see things in a different light?
After two years of Graduate School I would have to go with the second option. As my alcohol consumption increased while I was exploring and researching the infinite minds of scholars I definitely began to see the world in a different light and from a different angle.
Unless you enjoy deep thinking this blog post is not for you.
Higher education is expensive. In light of the current economy it might even be pointless. But the insights you gain no one can ever take away from you. So if you wanna change the world, research is the way to do it. I firmly believe that.
Not so much because you would not have any useful ideas without research. Rather because it takes facts and numbers to convince other people that your ideas might be useful. And without research you have nothing to back up your flights of fancy as they say.
When I was growing up I always wanted to change the world by helping people achieve more and do more with their lives. It was just an innate passion. Graduate School has helped me understand the underlying connections of all fields. This was a vital stepping stone in exploring solutions to common problems today.
Journalism has always been a passion for me. I am not really sure why, but I just want to help people understand what is going on around them so that they can make informed decisions.
The field of journalism is supposedly in trouble. Do you believe that???? If you truly believe in evolution, you cannot consider changes to be negative. Granted, people are loosing jobs. But at the same time new jobs are being created. There is a balance. As something becomes extinct a new thing is born.
But humans are notoriously afraid of change. Have a glass of wine and look into the future. The secret assures us that we can create our own future. Embracing change and looking for new ways can only help on that path.

Quote of the day: "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. "
~Albert Einstein

THANK YOU, God!!!!!

2009-10-02T19:28:00.004-04:00

It is funny how easily we sometimes get dragged down by bad things that happen to us. All of a sudden the world seems pitch black and all hope is gone.

It reminds me of the famous poem Footprints:

"One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Interestingly, there are three different authors listed as the creators for this poem.

To be honest, that does not surprise me the least. Because we all should and have already had this dream. At times like I described above we all feel neglected by God. But the truth is that he is always there. We just ignore him at times.

The Secret teaches us not to let negativity consume us. I find that to be very much in concert with the teachings of the bible. Faith is much more than just going to church and claiming to be a Christian. True faith sets you apart by giving others hope. Not just with words, but with actions. Practice what you preach and truly show compassion to others in any way you can. And don't ever allow any bad days to suck you into a pitch black hole.

I thank God for friends that I can always count on. You know who you are!!! :-)

God bless you!!!

When bad things happen to semi-bad people

2009-09-28T14:55:00.005-04:00

Do you always follow the rules? How about out on the road? I, for one, tend to speed and disobey traffic signs whenever it's convenient. Most of the time I get away with it. Today, however, I did not.

As mad as I was at the police woman who pulled me over for turning left instead of right (yes, there was a sign prohibiting left turns), I came to realize that it was my own fault. A costly one at that, too. Now I have to shell out $252 for the traffic sign violation and for not wearing my seat belt. She actually could have added a couple of other things, like not having my registration and proof of insurance with me. Or the fact that the address on my license was outdated. Instead she left it at those two and went on to her next victim.

Is there a lesson to be learned??? I would say:"Absolutely!"

First of all, The Secret teaches us to let go of all negative emotions in order to prevent more bad stuff happening as a result. Think about it, if you stay mad and focused on your anger nothing good will come from it. Just the opposite. You will most likely take your anger out on those around you and end up having a horrible day.

Instead, you can choose to see the positive aspects of the situation and move on.

As a second positive aspect, I was able to set a real-life bad example for my son, who was in the car with me since I was just picking him up from school. He has some authority issues and does not like to follow any rules at schools or anywhere else for that matter. This was a perfect opportunity to show him what happens when you don't follow the rules as an adult. And yes, I am aware of the fact that I am a bad role model.

Nevertheless, he came to understand that grown ups have to pay fines instead of standing in time out. He also happens to love money very much. So this was the most effective way to explain what happens when you don't follow the rules as an adult.

Of course, I have to add my disclaimer here: Don't try this at home, or on the street!!!

I was only trying to share my misery with you so that you can learn from it.

Ultimately, everything happens for a reason. A good reason.

Quote of the day:

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

~ Barry LePatner

Happiness is...

2009-09-26T20:56:00.005-04:00

Happiness is a fantastic emotion. It makes you feel like you are on top of the world, like anything is possible.
Imagine being happy ALL THE TIME. How would your life change???

Keep in mind that the Secret teaches us that once you feel happy you attract more things into your life that make you happy. That means your happiness will be amplified with every passing moment and every new person that comes into your life.

Does that mean you will never experience any kind of hardships or negative things again? Maybe not in absolute terms. But when you learn to turn every obstacle into a stepping stone, then you have truly mastered The Secret to happiness.

Just remember what the founding fathers wrote in the Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

There is always enough time!

2009-09-20T16:17:00.005-04:00

You are probably thinking: "Yeah, right." No one ever has enough time for anything. In fact, we usually pride ourselves in being super-busy and going in over-drive. All in the name of productivity.

Guilty as charged. I am always in a race against time, heading from one deadline to the next. Too busy to just have fun and relax. They say time flies when you are busy. But did anyone ever tell you that it is actually flying away from you and never ever coming back???

The Secret teaches us that time is relative. According to Einstein there is no future, nor past. All time co-exists. So get this, your future is NOW. It's already there whether you like it or not. Each version of it. The positive one as well as the negative one. The question is, which one do you choose??

That basically means that you invite what happens next with your thinking. Remember, we always get what we expect. Do you expect to land the job? Yes, then you will. No, then you won't.

Same goes for having enough time to complete my assignments and to have fun.

So, say it with me: All time is relative!!!! Relative to your expectations that is!

Quote of the day:
"The future is literally in our hands to mold as we like. But we cannot wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is now."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Love thyself--or no one else will

2009-09-14T11:35:00.005-04:00

If you have ever experienced a phase of self-loathing rest assured that you are not alone. Most people are pretty good at disliking themselves. What you may not realize though, is that other people will pick up on that and your feelings about yourself will be transferred to them. In other words, if you don't love and respect yourself no one else will.

I am by no means saying this to make anyone feel bad. Just the opposite. The Secret also teaches us that we have to love ourselves in order for others to love us. This great advice is not only based on the fact that our own attitude will rub off on others, but rather that we will be getting more of that self-loathing as long as we stay on that negative frequency. We will get it from others as much as from ourselves and it will turn into another vicious cycle that is hard to break out of.

So what to do if you think you are too fat, too ugly, too old or just plain boring? Easy. Stop thinking that! Seriously. You are not doing yourself any favors by being a bully to your self-esteem. Would you tell a friend this stuff? Most likely not. Then simply treat yourself as you would treat your best friend: be kind, positive and give compliments. That's right, tell yourself, how smart, cool, good-looking, charming and likable you are! This has nothing to do with being conceited. Everyone DESERVES a healthy does of self-esteem.

If you don't agree with me,....ehm, then look at the hords of teenagers who are bulimic and look like barbies. They are not happy with themselves. Why? Because they can never be thin or popular enough. And that's what they keep telling themselves. Same with the movie stars who over-dose or end up on a detox farm due to substance abuse. Here is a newsflash: pills, money and fame don't buy happiness. Loving yourself does!!! For everything else there is Mastercard and Visa.

Now please don't think that once the guy/girl of your dreams walks into your life you will finally be happy and feel good about yourself. That will never happen unless you start being happy on your own. Right now. No excuses.

If there are indeed things you would like to change about yourself be proactive and keep a positive attitude instead of drowning yourself in self-pitty. Jump on the treadmill, get a new haircut, go back to school or do whatever it takes to become the person you want to be.

The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.

End of story.

Follow the signs to find your way

2009-09-07T19:49:00.004-04:00

I am not sure where to start. Last week was not one of my best ones. As much as I keep reminding myself of The Secret lessons, sometimes it seems hard to withstand the onslaught of negativity. In fact, I feel like I got thrown into a pitch-black abyss. The question is how did this happen and how do I get out of it.

Based on my personal need to analyze everything, I came to the conclusion that I have once again made the mistake to spent my time with the wrong people. Wrong, because they don't bring anything positive into my life. And wrong, because they always make me feel bad. Really bad.

The Secret teaches us to follow our feelings and use them as a guide. If I had done that, my week would have turned out a lot better for sure.

On the bright side, I have seen a lot of positive changes in my son since I got him the Wii workout game and added fiber to his diet. He is happy and healthy which is really all that matters.

As far as grad school and work is concerned, I know that everything will be fine. Just need to focus on my thesis for another month, then get a full time job.

At the end of the day, I choose happiness and let go of all the stuff that brought me down.

Quote of the day: Albert Schweitzer:

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."

Inspiration comes standard

2009-08-29T22:59:00.006-04:00

Lately, I have been feeling very inspired. Interestingly, I draw inspiration from many different things and people. In fact, I would even say that almost anything can inspire me if I am in the right mind set. A happy mind set, that is.

Because my inspirations have been running in over-drive, I ended up working non-stop in order to put my new ideas to good use. And as fate would have it new opportunities have popped up left and right as a result.

One of the individuals who inspire me the most is hands down my son, Mekola. He is the most creative and intelligent little person I know. (Yeah, I imagine all moms say that!) What makes my son my hero, however, is the fact that he sees opportunities where no one else does. He has an amazing mind. 'Impossible' is not even in his vocabulary. That word simply does not exist for him.

When he shares his insights and ideas with me I am always absolutely fascinated with the way he looks at the world and life in general. In his vision, life is an exciting journey and every day brings plenty of opportunities to do great things.

You see, my son has taught me that nothing and no one can take your joy away without your permission. In other words: Life is what YOU make of it. Every single day.

Choose to look for a rainbow at the end of the horizon and you will find one. Maybe even two or three.

Live your passion

2009-08-26T20:24:00.004-04:00

Passion feels awesome, no doubt about it. Following your passion turns your whole life into one big pleasure zone. But hey, we are staying out of the bedroom for right now. I am talking about the other kind of passion. The stuff that makes you tick. Trust me, we all have our quirks and talents. Most of us just do a pretty good job at suppressing them.

Just like blondie who wants to be a red head and vice versa. Why do we always try to be someone or something we are not??? Why can't we just love ourselves for who we are???

I guess it's all part of modern culture to fit into some kind of box or under some kind of label. So, the lemon wants to be an apple and the apple wants to be a banana. Now, who actually wants to be a lemon??? Right. No one.

For a long time I was that lemon trying to be an apple. All the while I became increasingly more unhappy. It got to the point where I did not even know who or what I was anymore. Seriously. I got up in the morning, looked in the mirror and wondered who was staring at me.

All jokes aside, I believe a lot of people get to this point at least once in their lives. We are so busy trying to fit in and impress other people that we stop listening to our own voice. The voice that tells us when something is not right for us. Once again, that voice is the happiness meter as I like to call it.

You might think I am just rambling. But ask yourself if your childhood dreams have become a reality. Growing up does not mean trashing all your dreams and everything that used to make your heart sing.

If you don't believe me, believe this: I always wanted to be a writer. Even before I could spell I was making up stories. As soon I as I learned how to write (on my own before school age thanks to my ambitious grandma, God rest her soul!) I started scribbling down my little fairy tales.

Fast forward to the present: There was a time in my life when I forgot about that little girl who loved to write and invent stories to entertain people. During that time, all happiness was gone. I would even go so far as to call this period of my life the Dark Ages. Instead of following my dream and passion of being a writer I did whatever I thought was expected of me. As a result, I died a little bit more every single day.

What saved my soul was one person who helped me rediscover my dream. Once I started writing again and following my path as a writer/journalist, the old me was magically revived. I got my happiness back. In fact, it increases every single day.

Ultimately, Mary Kay Ash was right when she said: "When you love what you do you will never work another day in your life!"

Even if you don't see how your dreams could come true, reach for them anyway. Because out of nothing a path will be made. Just take one step at a time.

No more missed opportunities

2009-08-23T20:40:00.005-04:00

The last couple of days more or less just flew by because I have been so busy. While I have been working on applying the Secret by mostly just focusing on a positive attitude and a healthy dose of gratitude, I suddenly realized that there have been a lot of new opportunities presenting themselves. In some cases, however, I needed a nudge to actually see them for what they were. Has that ever happened to you?

I wonder how many good and great opportunities we miss because we are preoccupied with something else. Most of the good things that cross our paths probably never even hit our radar.

On the other end of the spectrum, is it possible that we sometimes hold on to something that does not benefit us too long??? My answer to this question is a loud and resounding "Hell Yes."

I know that I sometimes cling to something or maybe even someone way too long in remembrance of better times. Not that I am the clingy type. I guess deep down I just sometimes hope that things might change again and go back to the way they were when I was drawing happiness from them.

So, how do we figure out when to let go and at what point to embrace something or someone new? Simple: The Happiness Meter!!!!

Trust your feelings. If he, she or it does not make you happy, by all means, move on! We are NOT supposed to be miserable. Just the opposite. And PLEASE don't waste your time complaining or trying to change that thing or person. You will invite more of the same misery into your life and the vicious circle will never end so to speak.

Instead, just focus on the things and people that make you happy. Most importantly, learn to make yourself happy!!! Happiness is an inside job. You can never expect another person to carry your cross for you. That is just not fair.

Let's put it in clear and mathematical terms:
1 Happy you + 1 Happy Other Person= Happy couple/friend/etc.

1 UNhappy you + 1 Happy Other person= UNhappy couple/friend/etc.

Just like in math, the moment you include a negative number in the equation the positive value shrinks in proportion to the negative value. Get it?

All right, so all we have to do is stay positive and happy and listen to our feelings. When they turn negative eliminate the source of negativity from your life. Wasn't that easy???!!

Here is my favorite song of the day that I always listen to whenever I need a pick-me-up-good memory:

Woa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Woa, oh, oh
For the longest

If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Woa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Woa, oh, oh
For the longest

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Woa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Woa, oh,oh
For the longest time
Woa, oh, oh
For the longest time
Woa, oh, oh,
For the longest time
(Fade Out)

Vision is everything

2009-08-19T21:21:00.003-04:00

Do you ever want something so bad that you can see it, feel it, and smell it as if it was already yours? If you answered 'yes' to this question, congratulations! You have mastered the art of envisioning your desire. Pretty powerful force, isn't it?!

In order to get anything else you want in life, you have to do the very same thing: envision it until you can see it clearly in your mind. It has to feel completely real to you and you cannot have any doubts. The reward will be that your vision becomes reality. Trust me, this works. And I bet you have used this technique a lot when you were a kid. So what's stopping you now????

Faith is a very important ingredient though. You can't just put on an act. Because any doubts will transmit negative signals that completely defy your actions.

In other words, think about what you want, NOT what you don't want. Then believe with all your might that you will attain it.

I could give you plenty of examples of when this has worked for me. For the little things as well as for the big things. Does not mean my wishes just fall into my lap while I am sitting on the couch. No way! I am very actively pursuing my goals every single day, all the while firmly believing that my vision will become a reality.

My next goal is to get a well paid job in my field and to drive a Porsche. A brand new Porsche I might add. Do I know how it will happen? Nope. Does not stop me from KNOWING that it will happen. Soon, very soon indeed.

My favorite quote of the day: "Impossible is nothing!"

Love makes the world go round

2009-08-18T22:43:00.004-04:00

One of the biggest lessons of The Secret is that love is the strongest emotion and has the most energy and the highest frequency out of all possible feelings. That's why they say 'Love conquers all.' And they are right.

Love makes everything better. Even simple and mundane tasks can be fun if you are willing to focus on something or someone you love.

Today, I had a major breakthrough: I have been telling myself that I don't want or need love in my life to the extent that I believed that I was perfectly happy without it. But that is exactly why I did not have it!!!! Originally, I assumed by NOT focusing on it I would not miss it and therefore, feel better. Who was I kidding??? Everyone feels better with love in their lives. We are not made of ice.

Naturally, I am not only talking about the romantic kind of love, but rather all kinds of love. For instance, I really love my job. I love writing, taking photographs, designing web pages and multimedia pieces. I love being creative!!! It gives me joy!!!

Just remember, we are supposed to find our joy and pretty much dive into it, live for it. No one should spend their lives being miserable.

Throughout the day I was able to connect the dots all across the love sphere which ended up covering all aspects of my life. I discovered: YES, I can love everything and everyone. Even the crazy drivers who cut me off in traffic. Not worth it to get upset over it. That would only result in more crazy drivers cutting me off or doing some other insane maneuvers. So I let the negative emotion go immediately and felt nothing but happiness. True story.

One very awesome positive side effect of this behavior is that it brings more love and more good things into your life, including people who can become great friends. Somewhere along the way I will find my perfect partner, too. He is out there.

Here is my favorite video/song for the day:

Lyrics:

RAOUL
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter
let me be your light
You're safe, No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning...
Say you love me...

RAOUL
You know I do...

BOTH
Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Day One--New Horizons

2009-08-17T20:41:00.001-04:00

After watching the movie The Secret as well as reading the book, I spent the entire day shifting my thoughts onto a positive frequency. It seemed to work pretty well and I even got a phone call about my resume. Since I am currently looking for a full time job that lets me earn $100,000 a year the response to my resume was definitely a good sign.

On another note, I might be relocating to California. Somehow I feel very drawn to that area and most of the job postings in my field happen to be out there. The only problem is the custody issue of my son. But I will figure that out when I get there.

As far as relationships are concerned, I currently don't feel ready for one. Nevertheless, I would like to meet someone interesting who makes my heart beat faster. I guess I still have to figure out what exactly I want in a person. But that is honestly not a priority for me right now. I wanna get my life back on track first.

After graduating from USF in December my main focus is on getting a well-paid full time job, preferably in Tampa.

My son has been doing wonderful and I know that he will do even better when he starts applying the Secret. I wonder if he already instinctively knows how it works because he certainly always seems to get what he wants.

All things considered, today was certainly a good day for us. Felt a strong sense of peace and happiness and I am definitely looking forward to an awesome future.

My favorite quote of the day is: "Expect great things and great things will happen!."